Painful Memories
by MDIlikewhoa
Summary: Squeal to 'Alway Mine' "This is a cruel joke right?" He said as he threw the note at Magnus. The cat eyed man looked at him sadly and Jace knew it wasn't a joke and his stomach turned as he fell to his knees. - Months after everything happened Clary can't cope and does something drastic, can Jace get her back or is she lost to him forever?


**AN: HELLO! So this is the sequel to '_Always mine'_ I would recommend reading that first, but that story is very dark so if you don't want to I think you might be able to understand most of this one. There is clearly going to be mentions of the other story though so if you want to fully understand then read 'Always mine'. Hope so like, sorry this was supposed to me up last week! Next story I am going to update is 'Say something.' Gonna try and get it up today or tomorrow, but don't hate me if its not up until next week! Also the rating of this story might go up!**

It had been three months since Jonathan died, three long months. Everything wasn't perfect after everything happened. Clary was devastated over her mother's death and no one seemed to be able to make it better for her. Things were slow going for a recovery; she was currently out with Luke and Simon they were spending the weekend at Luke's farm. Jace wanted to go but Clary told him to stay behind, she just wanted to spend time talking about her mother with the other two and Jace didn't really know her mom like that. It stung that she made him stay behind but anything to help her heal. Jace was currently hanging out at the park resting against a tree just enjoying the breeze. He was using a rune so no one could see him so he was startled when he glanced up and Magnus was standing there looking down at him.

"Thanks for scaring me." Jace replied sarcastically as the cat eyed man looked down at him sadly; Jace wondered why he looked so put out.

"What's going on, you and Alec get into a fighting or something?" Jace asked worriedly as he sat up.

"Here Clary wanted me to give this to you." Magnus said while trusting an envelope toward him, Jace slowly took the letter out of Magnus's outstretched hand. Jace briefly wondered why she didn't just call him or talk to him in person since she was coming back in two days. Plus she had only been gone for a day and a half at this point what did she need to tell him so bad?

"I'll be over there if you want to talk after your done." Magnus said as he pointed to a different tree, it wasn't that far off. Jace watched him walk to the tree before finally looking down at the letter, for some reason it made him very nervous. He slowly took the letter out of the envelope and unfolded the paper. It was written in Clary's messy hand writing.

_Dear Jace, _

_I want you the read this letter with an open mind, but I know in the end you are going to hate me very much. I want you to know that I didn't make this decision to hurt you; I tried so hard to make this work. But I am broken inside and I can't do this anymore. I am so so sorry, please try and forgive me. As you read this I don't remember you anymore and I am truly sorry. I asked Magnus to erase my memory, going back to the first moment I discovered shadow hunters. Please don't hate him; I had to beg him to do this so DO NOT blame him please. Currently I am with Simon and Luke somewhere that I can't tell you. After a few weeks Simon is going to come back and be with Isabelle, he's a vampire and at some point I am going to notice he isn't aging. So after a long time of persuading he's going to let me go so I can live my new mundane life. Please don't blame Simon either he wanted nothing to do with this, but after expressing how much pain I am remembering what evil things Jonathan did to me he finally agreed. I am sorry I didn't tell you in person, I just know you would have never let me do this. Every time I sleep, every time I think all I can think about is Jonathan and his words and his touches and I just can't do this anymore. Please don't hate me I know this is going to hurt you and I hate myself so much for this. I want you to know that even though I don't remember you right now I will love you always and forever. Please try and move on and forget me, I am nothing special anyways. _

_Love you always and forever,_

_Clary _

The note slowly fell out of Jace's hands and he looked down at it in disbelief, this was a joke right? He thought angrily as he looked up at Magnus sitting against his tree. He angrily picked up the letter and stormed over to the warlock.

"This is a cruel joke right?" He said as he threw the note a Magnus. The cat eyed man looked at him sadly and Jace knew it wasn't a joke and his stomach turned as he fell to his knees.

"Why would she do this to me?" Jace cried as tears sprung from eyes.

"We worked so hard to save her, _I_ worked so hard! I just got her back, Magnus she can't do this to me." Jace cried as he grabbed onto Magnus.

"I am sorry Jace; she honestly didn't do this to hurt you. She just didn't know how to cope with all the trauma she went through. I am really sorry." He said again as he lightly patted Jace on the back.

"I need to see her Magnus, please tell me where she is PLEASE!" Jace begged the other man.

"I can't Jace; you can't see her ever again. She wouldn't even know who you were if you saw her anyways." Magnus said sadly. Suddenly Alec and Isabelle were there to and Jace stood up and they both grabbed him into a tight hug.

OoOoOoO

"Hey Clary want to go see a movie?" Simon asked Clary as she looked up from the boxes on the floor.

"Don't you think we should unpack some more?" She asked with a small laugh towards all the boxes cluttering her new floor. Simon couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips; this was the Clary he knew before everything happened. He hadn't heard Clary laugh in a very long time and it sounded amazing to his ears. Simon heard his phone beep and he dug it out of his pocket and looked at a new text Isabelle just sent.

_He's read the letter; he's not taking it well. I miss you. –Iz_

Simon and Jace were never really great friends but his heart hurt knowing how much pain he must be in right now. Simon knew that soon enough it would be his time to leave Clary as well and he was going to be just as sad.

"What's with the sad face, everything okay?" Clary asked as Simon turned his phone off and pushed it back into his pocket.

"Everything's fine." Simon lied as he pulled Clary away from her paints, her wall were pure white so she just had to pull out her paints and cover it up she had said.

"Come on please I want to go out and do something." Simon begged, he just wanted to forget for a few minutes and just pretend that it was just him and Clary like the old times.

"Okay fine." Clary murmured as she put her paints away and headed to the bathroom to wash up.

oOooOo

It had been three days since Jace read the letter and he hadn't moved from his room for much. Alec and Isabelle knew he wasn't going to react well but he was slowly killing himself, he wouldn't even eat. They both knew the moment that Jace tore out of their arms and ran back to the institute and saw that every single little item that was Clary's was gone. Next he checked Clary's house and any other spot that Clary had ever been. Everything had been wiped away, Clary made it look like she had never even been there. Jace had gone back to the institute and torn apart his room before shutting down and shutting everyone out.

Jace couldn't function properly without Clary, this just wasn't reality. Everyday he woke up and as he remembered everything he felt the pain wash over him as bad as the first moment he read the letter. At this point the letter was a crumbled mess from Jace reading it a million times and then crumpling it out and throwing it away only to change his mind and fish it out again. He felt selfish for thinking Clary was selfish for doing this to him. He knew how much pain she was in all the time because of what happened, but he was going to get her threw it. Suddenly something Yellow and green caught his eye and he edged himself off the bed to look at it. He got on his knees and picked it up slowly, it was a sock. It must of been left behind by Clary, the only thing he had now that made him believe that Clary wasn't just something he made up in his head. He quickly stuffed the sock into his pocket, already thinking of a plan to find Clary even if no one would help him, he would find her himself.

**AN: Please let me know what you think! I was between this idea and another one for the sequel and I hope I picked the right one!**


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